Motflatcim is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, awesome naga.

Motflatcim created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Motflatcim, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Motflatcim, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Motflatcim's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Motflatcim's Holy Commandments

1. Motflatcim loves mice, so they must be honoured.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Motflatcim loves birds, so they must be respected.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always look after injured snakes.