Fumcibbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a large, quiet badger.

Fumcibbonk created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumcibbonk, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fumcibbonk, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fumcibbonk's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Fumcibbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear fawn clothing.

2. Never feed lots of strawberries to monkeys while wearing orange trousers.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Fumcibbonk in the centre of the settlement.