Tomcinhomjop is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sage capybara.

Tomcinhomjop created the planet Saturn twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tomcinhomjop, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tomcinhomjop, it will laugh at you.

Tomcinhomjop's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Tomcinhomjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of aardvarks.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near doves while wearing blue skirts.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not laugh in public.