Bessmapbifgunmatkip is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unfair whale.

Bessmapbifgunmatkip created the Cigar Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessmapbifgunmatkip, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bessmapbifgunmatkip, she will try to impress you with trees.

Bessmapbifgunmatkip's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Bessmapbifgunmatkip's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bessmapbifgunmatkip.

2. Never paint your legs green.

3. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

4. Never mention pigs.

5. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Bessmapbifgunmatkip in the centre of the settlement.