Zenontvonsas is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, grumpy hyena.

Zenontvonsas created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenontvonsas, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zenontvonsas, she will come to you in dreams.

Zenontvonsas' most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Zenontvonsas' Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always obey Zenontvonsas' priests.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.