Bifnattom Nadtarfut is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthoughtful beaver.

Bifnattom Nadtarfut created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifnattom Nadtarfut, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bifnattom Nadtarfut, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bifnattom Nadtarfut's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bifnattom Nadtarfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never think about dark energy near ducks while wearing cyan stockings and balancing eight tin spheres on your back.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Bifnattom Nadtarfut loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not wear pink clothing.