Wonbadlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, fussy dolphin.

Wonbadlarp created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonbadlarp, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wonbadlarp, he will turn you into a rat.

Wonbadlarp's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Wonbadlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. Run away from brown turtles, for they are unholy.