Gonpidflat is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, temperamental crow.

Gonpidflat created an electron five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonpidflat, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gonpidflat, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gonpidflat's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gonpidflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not take Gonpidflat's name in vain.

4. You must love Gonpidflat.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gonpidflat.