Cadtonktar is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, smart aardvark.

Cadtonktar created a strange quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cadtonktar, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cadtonktar, he will not care.

Cadtonktar's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Cadtonktar's Holy Commandments

1. Cadtonktar loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.