Popstervon is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, stupid whale.

Popstervon created energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Popstervon, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Popstervon, it will turn you into a duck.

Popstervon's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Popstervon's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Popstervon four times a day.

2. Erect eight tin sculptures of Popstervon on top of important buildings.

3. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

4. Never eat peanuts.

5. Do not shave your face.