Dotafvan is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, awesome frog.

Dotafvan created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dotafvan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dotafvan, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dotafvan's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Dotafvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never feed strawberries to shrews while wearing green dresses.

4. Do not speak about beans.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dotafvan.