Flyxinmegcussmum is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, amazing fly.

Flyxinmegcussmum created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flyxinmegcussmum, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flyxinmegcussmum, she will come to you in dreams.

Flyxinmegcussmum's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Flyxinmegcussmum's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flyxinmegcussmum.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near grasshopers while wearing turquoise boots and balancing nine silver spheres on your arms.

5. Never eat bark.