Metpogmig is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, all-powerful goose.

Metpogmig created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metpogmig, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Metpogmig, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Metpogmig's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Metpogmig's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always help horses.

5. Do not shave your back.