Metlarpstiktonkdan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, strong cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Metlarpstiktonkdan created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metlarpstiktonkdan, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Metlarpstiktonkdan, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Metlarpstiktonkdan's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Metlarpstiktonkdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to snakes while wearing boots.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Metlarpstiktonkdan must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Metlarpstiktonkdan.

5. Never think about nebulae.