Lunzodtim is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, ill-tempered newt.

Lunzodtim created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lunzodtim, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lunzodtim, it will turn you into a worm.

Lunzodtim's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Lunzodtim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Put Lunzodtim first in all things.

5. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.