Gepartgumnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, generous guinea pig.

Gepartgumnurt created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepartgumnurt, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gepartgumnurt, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gepartgumnurt's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Gepartgumnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to voles while wearing purple tights.

2. Never write about special relativity.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never eat coconuts.