Dagwadton is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, tranquil zebra.

Dagwadton created the world four billion years ago.

If you believe in Dagwadton, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dagwadton, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Dagwadton's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Dagwadton's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Worship no other gods but Dagwadton.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about quantum gravity.

5. Retreat if six turtles approach from the east.