Abpibhon is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, omniscient wolf.

Abpibhon created a Higgs boson nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Abpibhon, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Abpibhon, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Abpibhon's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Abpibhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention grasshopers.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Abpibhon.