Shavbonzag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, fussy manatee.

Shavbonzag created the universe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavbonzag, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Shavbonzag, it will turn you into a rat.

Shavbonzag's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Shavbonzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Shavbonzag must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never feed lots of aubergines to whales while wearing cyan scarves.

5. Never hop in holy places.