Pakdonjab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, able crocodile.

Pakdonjab created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Pakdonjab, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pakdonjab, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Pakdonjab's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Pakdonjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always help gulls.

5. Do not eat grapes.