Citrotteen is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, overgenerous dryad.

Citrotteen created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Citrotteen, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Citrotteen, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Citrotteen's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Citrotteen's Holy Commandments

1. Citrotteen loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Citrotteen on top of all buildings.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Citrotteen must be the most important thing in your life.