Ratgedbad Hoghonquam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, happy cat.

Ratgedbad Hoghonquam created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ratgedbad Hoghonquam, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ratgedbad Hoghonquam, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Ratgedbad Hoghonquam's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Ratgedbad Hoghonquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat garlic.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Put Ratgedbad Hoghonquam first in all things.

4. Sharks are not to be trusted.

5. Ratgedbad Hoghonquam loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.