Bopfarwatbif Kimnurtnan is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, strong aardvark.

Bopfarwatbif Kimnurtnan created Europe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopfarwatbif Kimnurtnan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bopfarwatbif Kimnurtnan, he will turn you into a plant.

Bopfarwatbif Kimnurtnan's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Bopfarwatbif Kimnurtnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about rats.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bopfarwatbif Kimnurtnan.

3. Never think ill of sick moths.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bopfarwatbif Kimnurtnan.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.