Febsanloop is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unthinking camel.

Febsanloop created vertebrates five million years ago.

If you believe in Febsanloop, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Febsanloop, it will turn you into a rat.

Febsanloop's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Febsanloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not kill mites.

5. Never feed figs to badgers while wearing turquoise shirts.