Japjammadcetshavhogrencum is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonest hydra.

Japjammadcetshavhogrencum created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Japjammadcetshavhogrencum, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Japjammadcetshavhogrencum, she will turn you into a rock.

Japjammadcetshavhogrencum's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Japjammadcetshavhogrencum's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat mites with great respect.

2. Never wear scarves.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. You must never eat peas.

5. Hide from blue ants for they are unholy.