Zimrakflab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, merciful manatee.

Zimrakflab created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimrakflab, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zimrakflab, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Zimrakflab's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Zimrakflab's Holy Commandments

1. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Do not wear green clothing.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism.

5. Do not eat grapes.