Spagbisshot is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, charitable deer.

Spagbisshot created light two million years ago.

If you believe in Spagbisshot, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Spagbisshot, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Spagbisshot's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Spagbisshot's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Spagbisshot loves great tits, so they must be respected.