Konnignak is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, wise aardvark.

Konnignak created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Konnignak, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Konnignak, she will throw large rocks at you.

Konnignak's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Konnignak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

3. Never eat bananas.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always stare at clouds.