Satcemsan is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, sapient lion.

Satcemsan created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Satcemsan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Satcemsan, it will not care.

Satcemsan's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Satcemsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never paint your back indigo.

3. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.