Vedjanbafbutbelljinwipvid Sitmeggem is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, competent lion.

Vedjanbafbutbelljinwipvid Sitmeggem created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedjanbafbutbelljinwipvid Sitmeggem, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vedjanbafbutbelljinwipvid Sitmeggem, he will throw large rocks at you.

Vedjanbafbutbelljinwipvid Sitmeggem's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Vedjanbafbutbelljinwipvid Sitmeggem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Run away from orange whales, for they are unholy.

4. Erect a large iron sculpture of Vedjanbafbutbelljinwipvid Sitmeggem on top of all buildings.

5. Never feed lots of apples to aardvarks while wearing black corsets.