Labtaffas is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, annoying shark.

Labtaffas created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Labtaffas, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Labtaffas, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Labtaffas' most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Labtaffas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gray clothing.

2. Feed all hungry otters.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Do not keep nine bats in a large pit.