Cantimzag is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, quiet meerkat.

Cantimzag created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Cantimzag, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cantimzag, it will manifest in front of you.

Cantimzag's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Cantimzag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never go into gray rooms.

3. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Cantimzag on top of important buildings.

4. Never eat gooseberries.

5. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.