Yogfadbin is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, amazing faun.

Yogfadbin created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yogfadbin, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yogfadbin, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yogfadbin's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Yogfadbin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Yogfadbin.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near gulls while wearing cyan coats and balancing six titanium spheres on your arms.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not eat corn.

5. Never eat peanuts.