Bonjopfud is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet penguin.

Bonjopfud created the Whirlpool Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonjopfud, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bonjopfud, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bonjopfud's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bonjopfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not eat melons.

4. Always help dolphins in need.

5. Never talk about photosynthesis.