Goffumpas is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, amazing parrot.

Goffumpas created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Goffumpas, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Goffumpas, she will turn you into a rock.

Goffumpas' most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Goffumpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat carrots.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.