Hakbastkom is a god.

It takes the form of a small, contented wombat.

Hakbastkom created dark energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakbastkom, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hakbastkom, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hakbastkom's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Hakbastkom's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not speak about lentils.

5. Never sit near rats.