Cebcubmatgepdobbedyattlim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, emotional unicorn.

Cebcubmatgepdobbedyattlim created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cebcubmatgepdobbedyattlim, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cebcubmatgepdobbedyattlim, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Cebcubmatgepdobbedyattlim's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Cebcubmatgepdobbedyattlim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed strawberries to sheep while wearing turquoise rings.

2. Always obey Cebcubmatgepdobbedyattlim's priests.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics.

4. Never feed lots of lentils to ducks while wearing fawn scarves.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.