Pangparkcebbiffarnyatt is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, staggering eagle.

Pangparkcebbiffarnyatt created the Sun six million years ago.

If you believe in Pangparkcebbiffarnyatt, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Pangparkcebbiffarnyatt, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Pangparkcebbiffarnyatt's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Pangparkcebbiffarnyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill snakes.

2. Always wear violet.

3. Always look after injured moths.

4. Hide if four monkeys approach from the west.

5. Put Pangparkcebbiffarnyatt first in all things.