Dotwapgomcinrow Fasmumlak is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, pitiless goblin.

Dotwapgomcinrow Fasmumlak created the Andromeda Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotwapgomcinrow Fasmumlak, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dotwapgomcinrow Fasmumlak, she will turn you into a slug.

Dotwapgomcinrow Fasmumlak's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Dotwapgomcinrow Fasmumlak's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.