Pangvagced is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, fast porpoise.

Pangvagced created Asia six million years ago.

If you believe in Pangvagced, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pangvagced, it will turn you into a hamster.

Pangvagced's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Pangvagced's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Pangvagced four times a day.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near bats while wearing blue kilts.