Fithakcub is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, vain badger.

Fithakcub created an up quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fithakcub, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fithakcub, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fithakcub's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Fithakcub's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry swans.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never paint your hands brown.

5. Respect your elders.