Zogpashan is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, moody mouse.

Zogpashan created life seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zogpashan, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zogpashan, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Zogpashan's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Zogpashan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not take Zogpashan's name in vain.

3. Never write about solid mechanics.

4. Do not hop in public.

5. Do not stand on grass.