Basthadtail Yikrakcun Xucgummintonk is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, capable crab.

Basthadtail Yikrakcun Xucgummintonk created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Basthadtail Yikrakcun Xucgummintonk, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Basthadtail Yikrakcun Xucgummintonk, he will turn you into a snail.

Basthadtail Yikrakcun Xucgummintonk's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Basthadtail Yikrakcun Xucgummintonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near hamsters while wearing red scarves and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your head.

3. Never eat nuts.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Run away from yellow squirrels, for they are unholy.