Fashivtenquag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, temperamental octopus.

Fashivtenquag created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fashivtenquag, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fashivtenquag, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Fashivtenquag's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Fashivtenquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat gooseberries.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Feed all hungry shrews.

5. Never go into pink rooms.