Largpontonk Labmidhig Stigsanweg is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, happy shrew.

Largpontonk Labmidhig Stigsanweg created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Largpontonk Labmidhig Stigsanweg, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Largpontonk Labmidhig Stigsanweg, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Largpontonk Labmidhig Stigsanweg's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Largpontonk Labmidhig Stigsanweg's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not speak about rice.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not take Largpontonk Labmidhig Stigsanweg's name in vain.