Gepmobdon is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, ruthless warg.

Gepmobdon created a quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepmobdon, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gepmobdon, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gepmobdon's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Gepmobdon's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Gepmobdon in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

5. Never wear mauve dresses.