Lakfobart is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, ruthless otter.

Lakfobart created the Sol system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakfobart, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lakfobart, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Lakfobart's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Lakfobart's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

4. Lakfobart loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

5. Always wear brown.