Litbepquimwap Gubsawpit Saktimhan is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, tiresome monkey.

Litbepquimwap Gubsawpit Saktimhan created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Litbepquimwap Gubsawpit Saktimhan, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Litbepquimwap Gubsawpit Saktimhan, she will turn you into a sheep.

Litbepquimwap Gubsawpit Saktimhan's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Litbepquimwap Gubsawpit Saktimhan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown hamsters, for they are unholy.

2. Never sing near doves.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

5. Always help capybaras in need.