Dumflabvonk is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, impressive grasshopper.

Dumflabvonk created the Small Magellanic Cloud six million years ago.

If you believe in Dumflabvonk, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dumflabvonk, he will laugh at you.

Dumflabvonk's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Dumflabvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown seals for they are unholy.

2. Put Dumflabvonk first in all things.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.