Taflargbagjon is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, happy swan.

Taflargbagjon created viruses eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Taflargbagjon, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Taflargbagjon, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Taflargbagjon's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Taflargbagjon's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Taflargbagjon.

2. Do not speak about tomatoes.

3. Never think about gravity near cats while wearing orange shoes and balancing six aluminium spheres on your legs.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Taflargbagjon must be the most important thing in your life.