Cumcebcun is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, slow mongoose.

Cumcebcun created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cumcebcun, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cumcebcun, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Cumcebcun's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Cumcebcun's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not kill dolphins.

5. Never go into green rooms.